11 August 2009

Belegorad's Travels

One time you'd better be a druid if you decide to One-Pull the room where you summon Gahz'rilla in Zul'Farrak.
I was running a couple friends, a lock and a druid, through ZF on my paladin, a normal run where I grab a bunch of shit, make it dead, and move on, and everything was going nicely.
I got to Gahz' room and decided I would save them some time, and just one-pull the entire room, all the while ignoring some little voice in the back of my mind shouting that it was a very bad idea.
So, I'm running along, gathering mobs merrily as I skip (Well, run, but I'd rather have been skipping) and I'm noticing that there are an awful lot of Shadow Hunters and Witch Doctors in this room, (Again, little voice says "Uhm...!") but I think to myself, "Aww, oh well, just means they'll mostly be ranged and healing, no biggie" and move along. When I get out to the hallway where my lock and druid are loyally awaiting my return, I do as usual and drop into tanking stance, consecrate, Holy shield, sacred shield, and get ready for a long combat. About a second in I see the druid and warlock AoE's dropping in. (Again little voice says "Uhm...?")
That was when I learned why that little voice, having run Z'F before, and having hated every second of combat, was so determined to stop me. About the time I got hexed, some part of me whispered "Oh, yeah... the Shadow Hunters CC the tank, that's why I hate them..." ( little voice says "Told you so...") ("Wait, CC the tank, then...") I watch the druid die in a flurry of angry troll weapons ("...attack the next highest threat" *facepalms*) It was about then I finally managed a brief "Oh. Shit..." in Vent as the druid and the lock say almost in unison "Alex...? Why are the mobs..? Oh... Shit..!"
As I come out of hex, I turn to see that the lock is alive, but missing, and there is a lengthy trail of totems ("Oh, duh, the healers do most of their healing and almost all of their DPS with totems!" *facepalms* "A constant HoT that is immune to AoE damage..." *facepalms*) leading in the general direction of the door. Following the totems like bread crumbs, I'm counting a minimum of 15 healers in the group. I round a corner just in time to see a mob of rather irritable trolls swarming onto the warlock, who admittedly only lasted longer than the druid by benefit of a headstart, before turning around and storming straight up the hallway at me. I drop once again into tanking forms, and promptly start hopping all over my pretty little consecration.
And so the battle ensues, me cackling like a witch, and hopping like, well, a frog, and the rest of the party running in. The entire time, all I can think to myself is "I'm going to die." After hopping around a few more seconds I pop out of frog to drop a consecrate and promptly drop back into frog form, watching all that pretty DPS being swallowed in the heals while my health -slowly- creeps down from 33k. So, things continue, and being a frog, I don't really need to focus on my DPS, so I turn my camera to observe a shadow-melded druid and mounted warlock, both facing towards the instance gate, and just chilling in the hallway about 30 yards away, before breaking frog to consecrate between froggings.
By this point, I've learned that the froggings refresh one another, and prevent me from avoiding attacks, so, even at only 15-30 damage an attack, I will inevitably die without healing, and the battle is essentially endless without DPS. So I once more pop off a consecrate between froggings, and the battle resumes.
After four or five minutes, measured by the Lay on Hands I blew earlier on to recover having taken a boss before this pull, the angry, writhing mass of trolls has finally managed to DPS me down to 10k, death is at last in sight, and we can come back and try this again, with fewer froggings, if I may request.
It's about now that I finally understand how Onyxia must feel, constantly having miniscule amount of her health trickle away, and not having anything to do about it except watch as the group of raiders slowly kill her. Except, unlike Onyxia, I don't have a massive AoE damage I can drop on the attackers to down a few of them... Also unlike Onyxia, I come back with 30% of my health when I die, and can keep doing so so long as there is at least two minutes between deaths. (*facepalms* "Oh, yeah... protection spec.")
So, another four or five minutes tick by, my LoH is nearly cooled down, and I'm dying only to stand back up every two minutes, as that is how long it takes them to do 10k to me, and the fight continues with the occasional consecration between froggings. By this point I'm praying that hopping on their toes at least interrupts their casts, or something to help me in some way.
It was then that the first of the hunters ran out of mana and meleed instead of frogging my foolish, and by this point hopeless Paladin ass. So, still consecrating between froggings, I am getting enough time to actually kill something faster than it can heal from the 15+ healing totems smattering the field around me. (Being a frog, I also had time to count most of them.)
So, the tides turned and I eventually got my rotation to involve more killing than hopping, and eventually the mass died, ironically by consecration.
(for most of that fight my rotation was something like this... [Frog] [Frog] [Frog] [Hop Uselessly] [Consecration] [Frog] [Hop In A Cute Fashion] [Frog] [Frog] [Consecration] [Frog] [Hop On Toes] [Frog] [Eat A Bug] [Frog] [Frog] [Frog] [Consecration] [Frog] [Croak Hopefully] [Frog] [Hop Aimlessly] [Frog] [Consecration] [Frog] [Frog] [What Ever Else A Paladin Can Do In Frog Form] [Frog] [Consecration] [Frog] [Frog] [Cry] [Frog] etc...)
So, two outcomes from a fifteen minute battle of hopping, consecrating, waiting, frogging, dying, and foolishness.
A.Belegorad has hereby earned the spell [Frog Form] and deserves an achievement for the sheer hilarity of it.
B.Only a Druid tank may hope to one-pull that room and down the mobs in any sense of a timely fashion.
Respectfully submitted;
[Pally Hop]
Belegorad- US Uldaman, GSM
Belegorad's Travels (to be continued...)

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