26 May 2012

always the rub...

I love WoW. I keep coming back and coming back. I will always come back.

And there are folks there who love me and miss me. And I love them and I miss them, too.

And somehow there is this angry part of me that feels like stomping and screaming and being a big godsdamned baby because I should be able to do what I want to do and spend my time the way I choose to spend it.

I don't play WoW 1/2 way... what the fuck makes my "friends" think I'd play anything else 1/2 way, either?

Maybe they are just so epic at what they do that they can split themselves and their learning curves and enjoyments... and perhaps they just have such short attention spans that they have already done everything they wanted to do in Diablo... or it's just possible that they didn't like it as much as I do.

Regardless... I set out to play for 1 hour. ONE HOUR without distraction or disruption... to see how much of the 100,000 gold I need can be earned in that time and how far I can level my wizard.

28,238 @ 4:38 p.m.

tell from a friend 4:40 p.m. "why don't you come play WoW with us? we're doing some old content for fun."
"no thanks, I'm having fun here."

tell from a friend 4:49 p.m. "are you ever coming back to WoW? lol"
"of course."

spend the next 4 minutes frustrated and almost dying because I'm distracted and I can't figure out why I'm so angry.

31,958 @ 4:52 p.m.

3,720 in 10 minutes. not bad.

why am I angry?

I feel punished for having fun.

Let me explain. I can raid so I end up organizing raids when I'd rather just run them. I know a lot about WoW so I can answer tons of questions or lead people to things or teach them how to do things... not because it's how I'd like to spend my time in WoW, though... because its something I'm good at.

I just want to play. WoW ISN'T real life. I'm a good teacher and I spend a lot of time doing things that I don't particularly enjoy or want to do in the real world. Who pays for the privilege of doing things they don't want to do in a game? Not me.

Sound familiar?

Rift was fun and every day it was a constant reminder in every possible way that people were no longer logging in on WoW because it was getting too quiet... too boring.

Why? Because I'm not there? Are you only playing for me? Christ on a cracker, people... find something else to do!

WoW is in the pre-panda blues. For everything fun and historically sentimental to me in WoW there is something else that is like an open oozing wound of festering anger and resentment and frustration... that's the truth. The damned pandas are a SYMPTOM of the problem to me, folks... not part of a future solution... not that anyone gives a shit, really... and still, that's the truth.

I did a long rant about how Blizzard (Activision) panders to the masses of losers and wasted folks with lower IQ than they have bank balances... and then 2 months later they release the basic information about a cuddly teddy bear race of Pandas as the next super class in WoW... pandarin... LOL

SO Blizz panders with pandas to the masses and I still play.

I have to bust my butt and organize and teach and train people and help them get gear so that I can go get gear off of bosses that I have to reforge and enchant and gem in the same cookie cutter requirements as every other fury warrior in the game and get told a dozen times a week to change my specialization or get left out of raids and runs because I'm just not quite elite enough... or I can just play and put up with the crap in chat and the constantly needing friends and relationships in the game that feed on uninterrupted attention.

There is a peace inside of me when I played Skyrim... a peace that is redoubled in Diablo III... and you know, I'll end up back in the world where the Elder Scrolls demand our absolute attention before I'll ever move permanently into the world where Diablo is threatening us all again for one very important reason... Skyrim doesn't have realID. No one knows WHAT I'm doing when I'm there.

You know what makes games like Skyrim and Diablo so compelling for me? (Again, I'm sure there's a post out there full of this same damned rant and I'm too lazy to find it and link it right now.) While I'm sure there's some dumbass out there with a "perfect" cookie cutter build for every class because that's how idiots play and idiots have money and play games... I don't have to give a shit about them or their builds or anything else.

I play my spell sword the way I like her in Skyrim and the world is still saved by her exploits... even when my choices make it a little harder for me to succeed.

I can spec my demon hunter any damn way I wanna and she can still watch the last boss in Diablo go down like a bitch pwned for daring endanger the world where she lives.

No one can whisper me that I'm pathetic and should go check one of 1,000 links for help. I can make it or break it all by myself and still have fun exploring and learning a whole new world of lore.

I say all the time that I left Rift when it ran out of endgame content and while that's partly true what really sent me running from Rift never to return was the constantly growing groaning whining mass of shits who protected the flagstones and honor of the G.I.R.L.S.* in Meridian rather than working together the way we did at the start to explore and have a good time in the game.

I'll be back to WoW when I've done the few things it is that I wanted to do in Diablo. The more pressure I feel to be someone in charge or leading the charge in WoW the less likely I am to enjoy it and the less I enjoy a thing the less I do it.

Don't pee in my pool, man... I'm having fun.

I might continue to only have fun in Diablo forever at this rate, and I might kinda run out of energy to do the same chains all the way up 3 more times IDENTICALLY just to finally completely beat the game.

I may go back to Skyrim for awhile and play around for months without doing anything the same way twice because it's that beautiful and made to be played that way. I like being a dragonborn who has never seen the dragonstone or met a dragon in combat almost as much as I love being a dragonborn who hunts them all to extinction... almost...

I will still return to WoW because I love WoW against all of my better judgement and all rationality or intellect.

If you're talking to him you only have to ask my son... he'll tell you. The more times I have to say "Not right now" the less likely I am ever to say, "Yes." You can literally push until I never come back.

wait... on second thought... go ahead. keep asking. I'm having fun where I am and you'll just help me not to feel guilty about it... lol

so all that... and an update:

here is a more flattering picture of the female barbarian... who in animation is a little slope headed and less intelligent looking... :O yeah, I said it.

I caught Holle the Barbarian up to Anubis so that I could set Buffy free to finish the game... Holle is hanging out waiting for Anubis or ready to catch up to him in a quick sprint at the start of Act II in what I can now actively acknowledge is my least favorite part of the game. I hate flying things in general and when they can spit poison at you and otherwise stalk you all over God's creation before they come down to where you can hit them? yeah... not a fan...

 Buffy, Eirena and Tyreal

last night Buffy the Demon Hunter defeated the last fight on Normal Mode in Diablo III after dying 8 times and much screaming at the machine and calling the monster all manner of inappropriate names and accusing it of cheating etc...

this morning Kats and Buffy defeated the Skeleton King on Nightmare mode. Only 7/8 of the game left on Nightmare and then 2 more modes (Hell and Inferno) to go before I can say I've beaten it... 'cause honestly... I'm not all that into the whole dead is dead mode of playing these games... screw you, what do you mean all that work is done and all the gear is stuck on the toon because they died? they're pixels. reload from the last save and continue... that's what I say.


22 May 2012



wow x 1000

 Now level 25
defeater of many mangey bosses and much undead

 Now level 16 and waiting for Anubis, Corbin's Wizzard
badass in heels and a cape... sexy and dangerous and a lot snarky
definitely a favorite for a really long time. dual wielding hand crossbows like guns does that to me!

Now level 3 and waiting for leveling
she's a nice gal... all potential and without subtlety or subterfuge... a brute with massive attacks

Diablo III plays like an MMO and is an action RPG instead... less overall control over your stats than a true RPG, like Skyrim, and still MUCH more control than in WoW where everything is a best in slot race to the finish line. Loots are random and often useless except for money or crafting materials... monsters are vicious and repeatable. Dungeons and areas respawn differently every time you go into them. THIS is gaming, folks. Turned up a notch or ten.

Dark and twisted with sexy boss fights and sexier character interactions... I'm hooked.

I can be a mage MY way, with dozens of different combinations of abilities and spells that I can choose I've already formed a favorite selection and use them well... perhaps not well enough against some bosses and I'll still figure it out... and the best thing? MINE IS TOTALLY DIFFERENT FROM MY BOYFRIEND'S AND HIS ARE TOTALLY DIFFERENT FROM KAT'S and... yeah... there's no cookie cutter bullshit here. I can do what I want... again, like Skyrim. Sure... suggest away. Maybe I will and just maybe I will say, "Oh, thanks... I hadn't thought of that," and continue my way. 

Skyrim again later and forever... Diablo with friends in realID and parties and excitement of group gaming along with the independence of single player as a main mode of play. I have a feeling I now know the 2 games that replace WoW when I cannot stand the interactions anymore.

Wait... that sounds like I'm not sure. I am very sure I have found AT LEAST TWO of the games that now replace WoW in my heart. I guess it's just lucky for Blizzard they wrote one of them, huh?

So much lore... so many stories... so much backstory to write... so much fan fic and self imposed RP to develop. Oh yeah. LOL

Thank you, J for buying me the game.


peace and if not peaceful then let their Gods sort them out... Tyreal and myself have demons to slay and a world to set right, so I'll catch you on the flip side.

Julien is born...

also a Jules, really...

Wizard... a dark new world of strange adventures each faced with a cocky self-assuredness born from doing what no one believes is possible anyway... calling himself Wizard when this is akin to calling himself a freak... preferring the negative title to the prettier terms like Sorcerer or Mage.

teaching his artisans the recipes they need for crafting him (and all of my other characters) armor and gear including the smith and a jewelcrafter. NOT a cheap endeavor and still well worth it.

gathering friends and allies for the hard road ahead slaying the demons of hell that threaten the very future of the planet.

A Scoundrel, an archer who is a capable thief and womanizer. The Enchantress, a capable sorceress and gentle lady with more questions than answers. The Templar, a man purified of his sins by torture and led into a life of service to the gods and to his order... a warrior questioning his calling.

Leah, a girl with a special ability she doesn't understand and her uncle, a horadric master and world explorer and information gatherer. Adria, the mother Leah thought lost to her and then finds... the witch with more secrets than stories and more excuses than productivity.

steady nerves and a dedication to getting the job done... in colorful desert attire died spring green... because in the desert color is wealth and power and what Wizzard does not embody these traits always?

Choosing the best companion for the fight because this is the only way to succeed against the demon called Belial.

yeah... well... Julien's dedication and my ability are... strangely not aligned.

Diablo III is amazing. Fun and deliciously different from anything else I've ever done. J bought me the game and I've been totally spun since.

I knew I would be.

This new Jules is, sadly, not my favorite. He is close, though.

Who'da thunkit?

A Jules who is a mage. And well beloved.

And now... Belial. OMG... 15 wipes and STILL not successful. He takes the all time spot for hated bosses... for sure.