a blog of experiences of places and faces I've been, past and present

18 April 2012

some days are just like this...

we create a guild event today for a run today... risky bizniz, really...

then I'm told I need to lead it... also risky bizniz, all things in my temperment considered...

then I'm told we're holding spots for people who "may have to be a little late and stuff..."

so then we're not starting at 630 we're starting at 700

only not really, because one is at the store and the other wants to help someone else for a bit and can't be invited until we're actually ready

are you fucking kidding me?

I get to sit around with my thumb up my ass and wait around for them?

THIS IS NOT RAIDING

this is not even social or casual guild eventing... not really... it's too fucking rude and inconsiderate to be part of any social or casual guild I've ever been in...

so here we sit with 5/10 trying everything we can to make it work

and ultimately we're done for before we start

because I'm fucking finished with this shit... this is 8? 9? raids like this? Underground Connection doesn't understand and I'd rather be a pug than form and lead a group of them... honestly. omg

on a nicer note...

guess what I won?


finally!!!! only a couple years of compulsive eating. poor Al's butt was getting big! oh wait... human girls have big butts... :)

so yeah...
Ruth's Raid Rulez:
1. be prepared
2. be early
3. be prepared to fill a spot at any time
4. start building it early and if peeps are late or unsure fill their fucking spot
5. don't hold a place, even for a guildie or a friend, after start time
6. drop kick asshats and idiots
7. refer to Ruth's Class/Role Rulez for the rest

I'm just so tired of this weird thing... rock stars aren't rock stars without fans, and of this shit I am very definitely NOT a fan. I'd rather pug it or sit it out and wait until I have money to leave the server... omg... no, I wont leave... I'm just SO fucking tired. So frustrated. This isn't team work, there's no team. It's not social because you'd kick someone in the nuts for doing this to you in real life. It's not casual it's just fucking lazy and entitled.

peace... I'mma take a day off WoW I think... or go horde.

17 April 2012

now she's gone and done it...

I have a certain affection for Ember Isolte and her Ninja Raider friends... mostly 'cause she's a geek gamer girl and also because she does have some serious talent. :)

Ninja Raiders - 'cause everything is a hunter weapon. yes I saw there's plus heals on it. QQQQ

 riff on Adele... sexy.
Popped my cooldowns, focused on the boss... stopping this cast would be a huge DPS loss... This AOE spell should be LoS'd but I was still casting and you probably could have guessed... there's a fire burning on the floor stacking a DoT on me that I chose to ignore. My friends around me are counting on me to still be standing... we could have had it all... instead I'm lying here after dying...
raid leader's crying... we could have had it all!


 super boom? 
Can't out deeps that boom badoom boom boom badoom BoomKIN.
(Crit chicken for the win!) Boom badoom boom boom badoom boomkin.
(Yeah, Boomkin for the win!)
B-b-b-b-b-Boom badoom boom boom badoom boomkin.
(Crit chicken for the win!) B- Boom badoom boom boom badoom boomkin.
(Yeah, Boomkin for the win!)
 

Hey Salt, you listening sexy guy? :) 


 purr... not evil ever... homage to the sexy girls who used to be living and now are forsaken.

 feral druid girl... lol  a love song... of a sort. :) WOOT GEEKY GIRLS!

 you change your class like a druid changes form...  a 'lock then a rogue, a mage then a priest - heh, you used to have one main like the rest of us and then... yeah. (At least all mine wear plate so far, and most of them are warriors... umm... something like unnecessary duplication?)

WoW is what it's all about... 'cause you know I have no life... I'm in Dalaran attention whoring until you love me. nothing better for me to do. gotta gotta watch me. I'm always online. I only log at server reset time. Baby you should friend me, add me so that you can find me... are you on vent? turn my mic on and then all the gamer boys flip finding out I'm a chic... I'll come raid with you 'though
your gear is mostly blue 'cause I've got the time.
(Yeah... you know who you are and we all loathe you. Trust me. You'll /wrists when you realize someday that telling you that you're a waste of space wasn't our way of sideways flirting or telling you how awesome you are.)

This is the 87th kill and it's still a flop... now my inventory's full and I gotta sell... this drop rate is so insanely low. One more bubble to ding so it's shut up and grind! OMG... no shit!

SO there. LOL


shamanuck has epicness...

and a hitbox so big you couldn't miss her in another county.


lol.

I'm pretty sure it's a glitch. I've never seen a personal area so big.

and maybe Charlie is just this epic.

and another piece of funness, so that no one can forget before we head into the Mists...


This was Dalaran during the time right after it was released... there were, apparently, too many of us there and all of the lag issued us a city that had no structure... only players and NPC's.

Get ready, folks... the Mists will be no different to start with.

I CAN'T WAIT! I was meant for new world exploration without expectations or limits. I really was.

peace... posted on www.ruthsjules.blogspot.com for a change up today.

tankin' and gettin' spanked...

which you may or may not know is NOT the same thing as tankin' and SPANKIN'...


Had an emergency call-out to the friends far and wide and finally had some really good runs with a really strong healer (way overpowered for me) and learned some things. My friend Klaemor is not doing what he's doing wrong, and I'm not doing what I'm doing wrong... not really... we're leading the blind through some dangerous stuff and forgetting that a priest's mana pool is finite... like Julienne's health. What we can do to minimize the overall massive heals he has to put out and on how many party members, we should be doing. I was overlooking this... so was he. Sometimes being overpowered is actually a detriment. Good lesson.


I will say for the record that I'm a little overwhelmed sometimes by how much responsibility I feel towards doing this well when so few people will ever even care.

Maybe I really do play to the smallest common denominator in WoW and that's why I'm so frustrated and freaked out when things go wrong... honestly. I said before that WoW has been a progression for me... casual player for the first few months, focused on leveling and seeing things and finding professions and making things and just enjoying the world.

And then dungeons happened and they were hard and doable and Lexi was an amazing teacher and I was loving something we had to do together. And then dungeons you didn't have to stand around in town to organize were born and the PUG could be automated... omg... and it sucked or it worked and there was a prize if you could be patient enough to make it... and so we did it.

And Alex heard about raids one too many times and had to go see. And then he wanted me to go see. And then I loved it and was frustrated by the elitism of the whole thing. And then I got good at it and was feeling trapped because Bele was being ostracized by a weird group on our server so we moved to another server and had an awesome go for a few weeks... and we downed things and stuff was good.

The whole time I thought I'd be back from raiding as if it had been an adventure. When I left Cenarius and packed my gals and Alex's guys and gals back to Uldaman I was burned out on raiding and glad for the friends who were like family and my old familiar social guild.

But it wasn't the same guild. It was quiet and creaking like an abandoned boat in the ocean... spooky noises sometimes that startled from the silence and really without folks... Rift... a new game.

And Alex and Ruth are leaping headfirst into Rift where there's no ghost of things like "wow, that guys' DPS was low, did you see his gear?"

And for awhile this worked. WoW was left behind for a shinier and prettier world that was new and fresh and that we could be the "I played this way back when," players later.

I missed WoW. I missed the community. I missed the broadness and expansiveness of the myriad ways to be lost in the game for hours and accomplish really nothing much at all. I felt sort of boxed in by Rift's options and found myself suddenly alone there for hours at a time and felt the loneliness like a weight that almost took my breath away in Alex's absence. I found Jon and had some fun there with him and already the gear and the numbers and the dps tracking were beginning to make their way in from the WoW side of the universe of gaming until I felt like I was headed in a direction I didn't want to go and I was going to have to go it alone or give it up.

And I stopped playing everything for a little bit when I moved in with Jon.

And then there was Skyrim. OMG SKYRIM! Beautiful, expansive, sexy Skyrim. I still love Skyrim. I will continue to love Skyrim. Single player games are for the burned out and still seeking, I think. So much more and so much less at the same time. No /trade chat to make you insane. No LFG/LFR to make you feel nervously aware of everything you know and they don't and everything they know and you don't all at once. No dueling... no guilds or affiliations... no strangers. No one at all outside of the forums.

And I was missing WoW even more and so I created a new Julienne on a server flagged as "new players" and accepted an invite from a guy who was advertising a level 25 guild friendly to casual players... and I had some things to get used to... see, on Uldaman Decadence, Inc. was a social guild... and they were good at setting limits (perhaps because in their personal lives more than 75% of them are polyamorous and have more than one lover who comes with more than one family setting and so they're good at balancing "I love you" with "I have other things to do right now.") I'd learned to game in an environment without the ability to search someone else's profession... so you gathered the materials, you asked the other person in game or just mailed to them all that they would need in game and asked if they could make an item for you from the materials... and you waited until it was convenient for them, which they found time for often in a few minutes.

In Underground Connection they dropped everything and leapt right out to help you RIGHT NOW even if it took forever... that was uncomfortable as someone aware of an expectation of reciprocation later.

And still, they helped. They knew the answers and were willing to share. They are funny and friendly and geeky and we have fun together.

And now Julienne is level 85 and Allumette is with her and Holle became Erijan and she came over to join them. I played off the ghosts of Alex's pally and Lexi's hunter and Mike's mage and Richard's warrior and so many of the other things... I've almost played out the ghost of Chris' warrior and mage... and I will never play out the ghost of Jimmy's mage.

And I will never, it seems, play out the ghost of dungeons learned on the fly patiently and with care to managing risk and learning... I will never play out the ghost of raids learned and repeatedly failed until they were mastered in the interest of personal growth and fulfillment with a group of others seeking the same thing. I cannot play out the ghost of lessons so deeply engrained that they have become second nature: Lexi's voice loud and frustrated over ventrilo, "If you have threat you need to stop attacking!" and Joan's voice, frustrated and a little worried, "DPS should never be in charge of the run, you need to let me make the pull." Alex's voice booming from the other room and through my ear at once, "Andrew, I know you think locktank is funny and you're pissing me off. Let me make the f'ing pulls! I can't keep paying repairs because you're being a d*&k!"

Speaking of Alex... his is another ghost that I seem unable to fully exorcize and am still managing to overcome. There are times when a pally tank makes the pull and I hear them in my ears and I'm taken back to another place and time and for a second my eyes burn a little bit because I miss the sense of confidence and overly satisfied cockiness that came from knowing the tank had it and was damned good. There are times when I feel the loss of his knowledge and assuredness like a gaping hole and have to walk away... and of late, there are times when I wish I could show off and let HIM be the one with cocky assuredness that I've GOT this.

Tanking is so much fun!

I really think I'm drawn to warriors in general because we're in the mix of things, connected to it literally and figuratively. Tanking is the next extension of my warrioring abilities and I'm really loving it. I'm frustrated by the ignorance and flat stupidity of the people I have to play with sometimes, and am warmed and even humbled by the patience of others when I'm not quite getting it right yet and they're willing to let me learn with steady voices and kind reminders. Death Knight tanks are so much more powerful that I'm letting Erijan wait a bit... I want Julienne to shine as the bright copper penny in the sun of my gaming experience first and be the flagship of my forward momentum ever after.

My Jules' are always first, see. I've decided to let Allumette go second wherever possible. She will always be first in my heart and mind... and it's time for a new view and a new experience of the game... Julienne is perfect for this.

peace... and if not peaceful then... damnit... kill 'em all and let their gods sort them out. This is World of Warcraft and I'm not the mama... not anymore, anyway.

15 April 2012

moar observations and thoughts on LFG...

and that its all booty wash and fail without hope.

sort of.

WARNING:  THIS IS A LONG WINDED AND ANGRY RANT.

Probably you've already seen most of it before, also. LOL

Now, I'm an optimist by nature and so I spend much of my time exclaiming over the shiny lovely and awesome stuff in the world and try not to pay too much attention to the stuff that's less fun or less lovely. I do this with everything in my life, games are no exception to this tendency.

And I spend a lot of time bitching about the quality of players, the quantity of idiot players and the sheer futility of what I spend so much time actively enjoying in spite of the rest of it all.

This is because these people are below contempt. They are sub-human refugees from a world that is rapidly taking over every aspect of my world... games included.

They co-habitate with us by some horrible twist of fate that has allowed them to spawn in greater numbers than we could annihilate upon recognition and soon will rule the world. There are few years left for the rest of us and I intend to leap off head first into the wild blue someday not because I optimistically believed I could fly if I forgot that I could fall, like Arthur Dent... and instead because the alien horde of needy greedy grabby whiney shits have finally found me and are set on taking everything I have and am rather than finding and making something of their own.

I mean this seriously. I'm being funny and at the same time remember... I'm an optimist. I like to make fun of even scary stuff because then I can continue to seem blindly unaware when I am instead just looking on the bright side and pretending the shadows don't worry me, even in the safety of the light where I naturally stand.

The nasty little monsters we've bred and called our children are ripe with self-loathing as cretins who have never made or developed anything and have instead always been given recognition for greatness that they know has never been theirs.

They go to birthday parties and are given gifts JUST FOR BEING THE FRIEND of the birthday boy/girl. Field Day is about showing up and not trying very hard, complaining about being too hot or too thirsty or too hungry and being given ribbons of participation and food and drinks and told how terrific they are whether they were even coordinated enough to change from their flip flops to their socks and tennis shoes with velcro laces without help. They have been bubble wrapped to prevent injury as though they are too valuable ever to take damage, spoken to only in the most politically correct syrupy ways and are still angry with anyone who might tell them anything that does not agree with their expectation that everything they do is perfect and awesome and pretty and special, just like they are.

They were passed throughs school by a nation of believers in No Child Left Behind that remain myopically unaware that our nation of do-gooder hippy dippy leaders has created a nation without science or math or intelligent thought and ability with only an expectation that the world owes these young monsters everything. Text speek and L33t speek that have replaced language on websites, game sites, blogs and exists even in our dictionaries. (misspelling there intentional.)

Guess what, folks?

I'm an optimist. Polly Anna eat your fucking heart out, honey... I'm happy when I wake up because it's raining/snowing/gray and cloudy and cool/warm/sunny/already hot and shiny outside. I go to work and am happy. I love Monday for being fresh and new. I love Tuesday for being awesome and still at the start of my week. Wednesday is half way there. Thursday is Friday Eve all day! Friday is Fri-hi-hi-hi-hi-day with a bootie dance because no one can take that away.

I was not bubble wrapped. I did not have a cell phone, pager or other device to keep me in touch with my parents, what I had was a responsibility to behave the way they expected and touch in with them through the day. Mom didn't do MY laundry. Mom didn't clean MY room. When I did something wrong I was as likely as not going to be punished, and it might include being HIT for it. True that... trust me. I was GROUNDED. Things I loved were taken from me. Words were sometimes harsh.

I ran my ASS OFF in the three-legged race and STILL didn't win a ribbon because we came in fourth and there were only awards for first through third. I jumped from swings and stuck the landings after scraping my knees and landing badly a few times. I rolled BACKWARDS out of swings and stuck the landings after waiting for the swing to pass by me again because I'd stuck the landing too soon last time and got whacked up the backside of my head for it. I failed pre-algebra not once or twice but three times... and it was REQUIRED that I attend SUMMER SCHOOL to learn it one of those times, and I STILL failed it. (note the use of the ownership word there? I failed it... not MY MOM DIDN'T HELP ME or THE TEACHER WAS A FAIL... no... I WAS A FAIL.) No one moved me along with my low D barely an F grade, they FLUNKED ME... I had to struggle through it for 3 hours a day the last time I took it because it was required for me to get through school and as an otherwise straight A student no one gave me a tutor or put me in remedial classes... I had to GET IT and finally I did.

I had bad breakups with my boyfriends and wasn't treated to days off school for it, I was tortured and was teased and treated as poorly as anyone else in school. I was a FREAK and a GEEK and a BAND FAG and a resident troll in MARLBORO COUNTRY as our off campus and totally forbidden smoking section was known. My bosses did not award me for being there or recognize my efforts because I was on time for the whole quarter reporting period. They certainly didn't give me parties or celebrations because I was amongst their valued employees. I towed the line or I expected to be fired. I excelled and did more than my job for recognition. I've been let go from jobs where I wasn't in the top 10 performers... can you IMAGINE? THE GALL OF THOSE ASSHATS TREATING LIFE LIKE A CONTEST? right. yeah. so...

And in all of that I'm STILL an optimist, and I can spell it AND define it and use it in a sentence without studying all night beforehand.

When I am faced by a challenge in WoW or Rift or Skyrim or any of the other games I've played I don't throw the controller or scream in mute frustration... my complaints are precise and organized and often contain the words I or ME and YOU and THEY.

This makes my complaints about WoW very interesting... and here's why...

BECAUSE YOU and THEY ARE THE FUCKING PROBLEM.

Untrainable. Unreachable. Uncaring. Inhuman. Stupid. Cruel. Selfish. Myopic. Incapable. Useless.

I do an awful lot of research and reading and training and preparing so that I feel like a good representative of my role/class/race in any game.

And in the end I still have to play with the folks who really aren't worth the money they pay to Blizz for their subscription if I want to have and get the things I want for my character.

This is why I left last time.

I got to the place where my amazing optimism could not paint highlights on the shiny wonderful things anymore and I was left with only the shadows threatening to encroach on me from every side.

I quit 3 dungeons in a row yesterday.

One as a DPS because the healer went ape shit on me for doing something wrong because I used up most of his mana to heal me. Umm... did you bother to LOOK at my health, dumbass? I'm in raid gear... my health pool is double the tank's. Don't heal me and I'll do it myself. Don't YELL AT ME for it. Particularly since he had just finished going ape shit on the party for not killing and CCing things in the right order and still didn't bother to explain which ones. It's like saying, "I know you're supposed to do it different but I was too fucking lazy to pay any attention so you're all failed assholes and I need more elite people to carry me through it again!" I asked him to mark the pulls since he had lead anyway (yeah, fucking hilarious) and when he said it wasn't his job I called him on it pointing out that he's creating the problem that he was yelling about by NOT marking the pulls as the one in charge, breaking my own rule about kissing the healer's ass no matter what, and he went crap crazy on me for typoing whiney. LOL. So I dropped because I'd died twice, no one listened when the tank DID tell them what to do and the heals dropped mid-fight to prove he had a penis, I think, or perhaps because he'd discovered he didn't.

The next two because no matter how many times or ways I described how I wanted the fights the "Resident Expert" (I've come to think about this like the creatures in the shadows like in resident evil, btw... lol. always lurking there on hold in their diseased 2D lives waiting for the hero to enter screen right and then becoming manic and hungry with greedy fingers reaching and bodies shaking while they groan and drool all over themselves in anticipation of leaping out on their next victim) would inform me that I was wrong and then suggest something insanely harder than the actual prescribed method for whatever fight it was and then refuse to participate in any helpful or meaningful way if I didn't do what they demanded be done.

"How did the tank die?" From the Death Knight who didn't bother to attack either SKULL or X as they were marked and died attacking a bubbled opponent dealing all of the damage he received back to his attacker.

"idk. he was just suddenly taking a real lot of damage and then died." This from the healer who didn't know they were healing apparently until the hunter died after I went down... even after clicking "ready" when I did the ready check AND after I marked SKULL "Julienne says Kill skull first." And then I marked X "Julienne says Kill X second." And even somehow after I used my Attack! Macro that says "Ready check is a GO..." in party chat as my character actually VERBALIZES "Charge!"

"Yeah, fucking tank doesn't have any gear on doesn't know the pull and ignored my cc."

"Fucking tank ignored your cc of my target marked skull? Yep. Sure did. will do it again, too." I respond.

"Everyone knows you have to do that pull different."

"They do? I've never seen it or done it any other way, so apparently there's a good number of us who DONT know that it has to be done another way. It's 4 mobs, 2 are casters and 2 need to be immune to damage for a few seconds of dps. Kill the healers first."

"Look, you're doing it wrong. I'm not trying to argue."

... doing a good job all on your own then, there...  you must be a natural.

Resident Experts are in and of themselves the bane of my existence. There's no disagreeing with them, no dealing with them and the only hope is to kick them and set the standard somewhere near "Hi, I'm your new asshole tank... piss me off and you're next."

If that's what I have to do then I respectfully submit that I'd rather clip my toenails and mop the bathroom floor.

yep. struggling in a terrible way.

I'mma see if Hornz has any suggestions.