16 January 2012

wow... rift... and then... SKYRIM

I accidentally outgrew WoW when I realized I was tired of having always to lessen my expectations in order to achieve what I wanted to have.

Let me 'splain... I had to run with people I didn't like and do things I didn't want to do in order to go where I wanted to go. I made the mistake of constantly pushing to be better and find something new in the game. Leveling and questing and doing holidays became raiding and doing dungeons and collecting gear and maxing rep and maxing professions.

Between zone chats full of asshats and raid leaders with no idea even how to find their own asses, let alone put together groups of 24 other people... individuals with more balls than brains and, transversely, idiots with more brains than sense who overthought everything and couldn't explain anything without an hour, a bowl of popcorn and three brb bio breaks.

So naturally, I led guilds and raids myself and found out that little boys can't take their minds off their penises even when you give them something cooler to look at for 10 minutes. It will always come back to "mine is bigger/better/faster" and anything else is wasted air.

I knew every zone and relearned what had changed too quickly. If you needed to find it you could call me and I'd know the answer. I was bored and still hungry for the game, and it made me cross and frustrated.

I was tired of the other people.

I missed the people I'd fallen in love with the game with and who had gone away or been outgrown or who had outgrown me.

I was making promises to play that I wasn't keeping because even three year old reruns of Law and Order were taking priority.

I was tired of feeling like a forgotten demographic in the design process.

WHY DOES IT HAVE TO KEEP GETTING EASIER? OMG...
WHY DO YOU HAVE TO HAND IT ALL TO DIPSHITS WHO ONLY PEE IN MY GAME AND AREN'T EVEN ANY FUN TO PLAY WITH?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CAN HAVE IT FOR REAL US DOLLARS OUTSIDE THE GAME?

Then there was Rift and for 6 months or so I was sold, hook line and sinker.

Well, I wanted to be sold. I bit hard and held on like a dying woman to a lifeline.

Less community, no continuity of real life relationships into game time, equal amounts of pandering to the masses of idiots without any real attention to those of us who liked figuring it out AND having something to gain from doing it. Boredom so fast and so fierce that I couldn't log in for days at a time and then any excuse managed to keep me away for weeks.

And then I moved and lots of life stuff happened and I just didn't want to be in the games that seemed at the same time to call me and to repel me as soon as I logged in.

And then my boyfriend bought Skyrim for his PC and the next day for his 360.

This is very important. First for the PC and then for another system, because he prefers his 360. So there's this unused version and I can log in from my computer and play it because he's not.

Cool. Single player. No thanks. I'll watch you play, instead.

yeah, I'll watch for three or four hours and then ask if he really thinks it could be downloaded to my computer. heh.

That was 2 months ago.

Guess what? So long as I stay away from the forums and ignore that asshats and idiots play anything and everything that the rest of us do, they just do it poorly and, well... like asshats.

I've literally gone backwards in the evolution of a gamer.

From massively multiplayer hell to single player and loving it.

And I still miss WoW and I still miss Rift... I miss what they were and I miss what I was able to make them be... and really I miss an experience I can never have again because I learned them too well and too fast and the games I learned were rapidly dumbed down to please a different demographic.

now I have a game that I can set different levels of difficulty and create differently abled characters and challenge myself against dungeons and puzzles I haven't even seen before.

it's lonely.

it's quiet.

and it's awesome.

when I need some community to cure myself of the need I can hit the forums until I'm bashing my head against the desk and screaming at the monitor. (I'm not saying that's what I do... umm...)

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